We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
