Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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