Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
