i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I would fuck him just for his dog
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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