she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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