this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
