i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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