i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
