tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
