So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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