are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
