I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
