Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
