I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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