Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
