Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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