This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
