That's intense
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
