O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
