Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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