it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I have aggressive nipples.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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