Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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