I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
