just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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