So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
