Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
