Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
