I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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