Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Watching her eat just hurts me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I fill condoms, not promises.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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