im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
