Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
