i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
