I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Be still, my beating vagina.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I would ride that face into the sunset
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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