Can i not drive my cunt home
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
