Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
