she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
