Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
