Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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