i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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