i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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