I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
