My nipple is on Facebook.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
