i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
