So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was confusing and full of hummus
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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