Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
