I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
