I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
