Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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