I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
