Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Sober January is a disaster.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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