we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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