I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
FUCK WHALES
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
