I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
