Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
